Senioritis Hitting Hard

UC Berkeley!

UC Berkeley!

I am suffering from a pretty bad case of senioritis right now. I remember back in sophomore and junior year, thinking that senioritis was just a dumb thing. After all, how could you just suddenly become lazy your senior year? How could you work continuously hard for 3 years just to have no motivation to finish the last year strong?

Boy, was I wrong.

My symptoms first began to show shortly after submitting all of my college applications. This was around late November/ early December. I recalled, thinking: What was the point in trying so hard if I didn’t need to?

After all, I just needed a 3.0 unweighted GPA (Some colleges ask for a weighted 3.0 GPA but it was better to be safe than sorry!) and that was definitely attainable without putting forth an excruciating amount of work and effort. A 3.0 unweighted GPA was merely all Bs in my classes.

I went to class mindlessly and did all of my homework just to get it done with. I never enjoyed homework and with a lack of motivation, I found it even harder to make myself do it. Regardless, I have not missed a homework assignment yet.

This is how I feel about school right now.

This is how I feel about school right now.

Once college decisions were released throughout the month of March, my “illness” took a turn for the worse. I became distraught at the idea of waking up early for school and hated school. I hated the school bells, ringing so often and disrupting my semi-sleep. I hated how I had homework. I hated going to school to do tasks. I just wanted summer to begin and to have high school over with! I yearned for graduation, where I would be adorned with multiple graduation attire and decorations.

However, even though I’m still afflicted with senioritis, I do try to cherish each remaining day of high school. I realize there will probably never be another time where all of my classmates and friends will be together like this in the future. We are all going to different colleges, scattered around the state and even dispersed nation-wide. Each of us will be studying and working hard and trying to achieve our maximum potential. Though there will be Facebook, Skype, Snapchat, and whatever other socializing app there is, it won’t really be the same.

Friends!

Friends!

But I will say I’m still super super excited for graduation. I feel like graduation is where all of your efforts and hard work is shown. It’s where you truly end your high school career and begin the next phase in life: college. Graduation is where you’ll be letting go of the past and reaching out to the future. (Literally.. Because you’ll be tossing up your high school graduation cap!)

So in conclusion, while I am still battling senioritis, I’ll definitely try to enjoy and appreciate my numbered days as a high schooler.

Rejection

photo taken from google and edited by me.

photo taken from google and edited by me.

It hurts. A lot. I have never truly experienced rejection. Actually, I don’t think I even knew what rejection was until now. Literally a couple of minutes ago I experienced my first rejection from something: a rejection letter from one of the universities I applied too. I was leisurely checking my emails and saw that I had received an email from the university. I opened the email, read it, and instantly a feeling of disappointment and utter sadness flowed through me. I was disappointed in myself and I even became a little angry at the university. “How can they not accept me? Why?!”
Then I began to think about my parents. “How am I supposed to tell them that I was rejected from a school…”
A sat by myself in my room for a while staring at the rejection email. I tried thinking of positive thoughts to brighten up my mood. (I was studying for a test and I needed to cheer up to resume my studying too.)
Finally I realized something.
So what? Yeah…I was rejected from a school. Did anything else happen? I’m sure the sky did not fall down and that I am still going to end up with a stable job in the future and have a some-what successful career. I may be disappointed now but I am sure that a couple of months from now I am not even going to care about the rejection.
Rejection does not equal shame. There is no reason for me to feel disappointed in myself or ashamed of not being accepted to a school. I myself know that I am capable of many things and that a rejection letter does not mean that I am incapable or “not as good as other people”.
Rejection hurts…but it is a good experience. It is a taste of life.
I recently watched a video in class about happiness and how one finds happiness. Here is a hint of where happiness comes from… It does not come from simply being admitted to a certain school. Happiness is everywhere, it can even be found in a rejection email. This rejection made me cherish my acceptance to another school even more and it made me thankful for having friends and family members who can comfort me during my times of despair.

We all have someone…

A great way to celebrate Valentines Day is spending the day with great friends.

A great way to celebrate Valentines Day is spending the day with great friends.

As we all know Valentine’s Day is tomorrow Feb. 14th, 2014! For some this day is a day filled with love and romantic get togethers but for others its just S.A.D. Yes. Sad. Single Awareness Day. The day where all singles get a little reminder that they are…well still single.
However, S.A.D. is more of a friendly joke than a real holiday. Valentine’s Day isn’t just for couples, it’s for everyone who has someone special in their heart. I celebrate Valentine’s Day by expressing my love towards my family and close friends. In fact, that’s how a lot of people celebrate Valentine’s Day. The romantic dinner in a 5-star restaurant with a view of the ocean should not come to mind when one thinks of Valentines Day. Valentine’s Day is more an appreciation day for the ones you love. It doesn’t even have to be love! So for everyone out their complaining that it is S.A.D., remember that its Valentine’s Day. A day in which anyone can take part in.
I was looking for ways to decorate my house to welcome the holiday and I saw this cool project online!

http://spoonful.com/crafts/heart-flakes

How awkward…

That awkward moment when everyone looks in different directions...

That awkward moment when everyone looks in different directions…

I’d like to say that all of us have at least one friend, family member, or someone who we truly appreciate and are thankful for. Personally, I have about a handful of people who I truly am grateful for. These people are the people who we go to for help, for a good laugh, for a set of ears, and many other valuable things.

How many of us have actually had a serious talk to these friends/family members about how much we appreciate them? Think about it… Would it not be a bit awkward having this type of conversation?

I have recently read and listened to an act in Shakespeare’s Hamlet. In this scene, Hamlet has a conversation with his one and only friend, Horatio. Hamlet tells Horatio how much he appreciates and respects him and Horatio can’t help but feel a little awkward hearing all of that. Who wouldn’t feel awkward in that situation? No matter how close you are to someone, if they suddenly come up to you and say something along the lines of, “I want you to know that I really appreciate and am thankful for having you in my life,” out of the blue…you would definitely feel a little awkward. Let’s not forget that they are two grown men talking in a secluded area. There is nothing wrong with two grown men having a deep conversation but it definitely raises the awkward factor between them.

Even if these types of conversations are awkward, sometimes they must happen. In Hamlet’s case, he faces the possibility of losing his life for plotting to kill King Claudius and so he feels the need to have this conversation with Horatio as soon as possible. As my teacher said in class, “If you knew today was your last day, you would be so much more open.” I completely agree with his statement. Hamlet does not know if his plan will succeed and he does not know whether tomorrow will be his last day or not, and so he wants to be open with Horatio now.

After reading this scene, I couldn’t help but imagine what it would feel like being in Hamlet’s shoes. I’d share all of my secrets and confess all of my wrongdoings. I’d have awkward conversations with all of my close friends and family members. I’d go to Disneyland and make dinner for my family. I’d buy gifts for all the people I care about. I would live my life to the very fullest. A famous quote keeps popping up in my mind… what was it again? Oh, that’s right!”Carpe diem.” Seize the day Hamlet; seize the day.